Monday, 28 January 2013

"She's too skinny..."

She's Too Skinny Weigth Self Confidence Blog Post Belle-amie Beauty Blog
Photo from weheartit.com
Now, this post is a bit different to what I usually write about on my blog, but quite a few people have talked about the subject of weight/ self image recently. A few weeks ago, something happened that made me want to discuss this topic and put some of my opinions across.

"She's too skinny, I feel like I'm going to break her... "

This is a comment that was not only said to me, but also in front of a large group of people for them all to hear. It was also said whilst the person was giving me a massage, so having this said to me whilst they were touching me, was horrible. To me, it was literally one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. It felt like everyone's attention was on me and my body. You may have read my new years resolutions post where I talked about the fact I'm not a very confident person; these are the sort of comments that really knock me back and make me feel crap about myself.

I know some people will think "Oh get over yourself, it's just a passing comment", but the reason I'm writing this post is to hopefully raise some awareness to the fact the term "skinny" is an insulting and hurtful word. Personally, I find it just as hurtful as calling someone "fat". I've never seen why it's socially unacceptable to call someone "fat" in passing conversation, however it is okay to call someone "skinny" and expect them to take it as a compliment. "Skinny" is a horrible word in itself and is linked to other words such as: boney, scrawny, undernourished & skeletal. Now, you wouldn't go up to someone and say "Oh you're looking really boney today"  or "Here have a burger, you look undernourished" and expect them to smile about it? No, I didn't think so.
I also know for a fact that if she was working on a larger person, she wouldn't have said "She's too fat, I can't find any of her muscles" because it's known the word "fat" (and the whole sentence) is seen as an insult. If larger people don't want to be called "fat", why should slimmer people have this word "skinny", which is just as hurtful but means the polar opposite, thrown at them? It's probably all down to the fact that now days people want to be "skinny" and the word has lost it's real meaning. I'm sure what people mean is "slim" or "thin", as I really don't think anyone wants to be classed as "skinny".

I would also like to point out that I have been always been quite a slim person and I have never ever been on a diet. I eat everything a normal teenager should, crisps, chocolate, pizza and I am naturally this way. I also eat enough for me and have a variety of foods including pastas and other carbs which are meant to gain you weight. I think it boils down to the fact I have a fast metabolism which runs in my family. I find it really hard to gain weight and then keep it. This is why I hate being classed as "skinny" as this is who I am and I really can't do much about it. It's even worse when people actually say to me "Ergh, gain some weight, there's nothing of you". I would love to be more curvaceous and have clothes fit me properly instead of hanging weirdly and being in between sizes. I hate how certain parts of my body look and that I'm always freezing cold, even in the summer. I find it annoying that I have a small appetite and come across rude when I can't eat the food someone's gone to the effort and cooked me. It's just who I am and I can't change that.

But saying all that, I'm happy with who I am and I'm not sorry I can't "have something of me" (if that even makes sense) just to please others. If I have always been like this, surely me and my body are used to it (and I will definitely not be broken when touched). If you feel like you're in the same situation, just remember you are you and that is special. As long as you're healthy then what does it matter what size or weight you are. That's what helps make who you are and why should you feel down about that!
 People need to accept that bodies come in all shapes and sizes and no one needs to be labelled as "fat" or "skinny", it's a waste of time. It's who they are and what makes them unique from everyone else. The world would be a boring place if everyone looked the same.

 I know this is a ranty type of post and I usually post positive things on my blog. I promise the next post will be happy and back to normal ♥

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37 comments:

  1. Great post, it's ridiculous how it's acceptable in society to be rude to the skinner among us, but not acceptable to say similar to the larger. I have had people say similar to me, and it really pees me off x

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  2. This was a great post Amie. I've never been very slim or overweight but always in the middle. You're right when you say that people need to embrace everyone's body size, inside, we have a lot more to give.

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  3. I totally agree with this! I hate being called skinny too!xx

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  4. Zoella wrote a similar post that I loved --- but I actually love yours more! I totally identify with it and agree. I remember there was one lunchtime where I only had an apple and a drink because I was feeling sick and everyone at the table was like 'that's why your skinny' and 'omg are you anorexic?'
    I hate it although I know people aren't saying it out of badness.
    Niamh


    floralfriendship.blogspot.co.uk

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  5. Love this post, i've had this all my life and for the a few years it was ruining my life and the way i felt about myself so many people use to stay stuff me and call me stuff like skinny bitch and people think its a compliment i dont understand how that can make you feel could about yourself, i've struggled with my weight for numerous years because of what people have said and only just getting comfortable with myself at 18 now im at college where the odd comment is still passed on i know they dont mean it in that way but what people have said to me in the past it affects me more than they think. More people need to be aware of this and i have also made a blog post on this subject that needs more awareness

    My blog: http://laureenxx.blogspot.co.uk/
    My blog post: http://laureenxx.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/a-more-personal-post-warning-quite-long.html

    xx

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  6. as stupid as it is (because im not), im constantly told off for being too "skinny" and told that i need "fattening up" etc.
    its really hurtful sometimes.

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  7. I totally agree. I've been big all my life and people think it's okay to point it out to me and it's really not. I don't see why people think it's okay to do the same to you, you are who you are. People need to stop seeing others for what they weigh and start seeing them as actual people, who get hurt by their unneccessary comments.

    Laura x
    http://pale-girl-reviews.blogspot.com

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  8. I totally see what you mean. I have the same problem and I have had people saying those things to me before. A few weeks ago I had a shop assistant saying that I look like I don't eat, in front of a queue of people. It was so embarrassing. People that knows me, know that eat a lot, I just don't seems to gain weight unless I eat 5 full meals a day which is just not possible to do on the normal daily basis.

    xx

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  9. its such a horrible comment to make to someone. Everyone is not made the same, and are not the same shape or size as the next person, you should never ever judge somebodies weight, its horrible!xx

    vintage teapot//fashion, beauty & life

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  10. I know exactly how you feel! I used to be forever receiving 'compliments' about how 'skinny' I was and I hated it! I couldn't do anything about it and it wasn't a great place to be in! Toning muscle and eating protein are ways to help (they've helped me!)
    Thank you for this post! It means a lot to know I'm not the only one in this situation!
    xxx

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  11. ugh, what an insensitive comment! I used to be called twig legs :( its not nice!

    http://rrecommends.blogspot.co.uk/ xx

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  12. This is really good post and I have had many many people say to me that they feel like they're going to break me, people don't realise how much one small little comment can hurt someone! Skinny is a horrible word and I avoid it as much as I can!

    I have recently written about body confidence on my blog too, I would really appreciate it if you could have a look?:)
    http://themake-upcounter.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/self-skin-and-body-confidence.html?m=1

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  13. Great post! You're such a lovely girl and I know how it can feel to have someone make you feel self conscious. I've been out in the past on a night out and had someone call me fat in front of everyone, it's hurtful and embarrassing. I do agree that it's just as hurtful for skinny people as well.
    I hope this post managed to get it off your chest, you're a beautiful girl and don't let anyone get you down
    Xx

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  14. I am in exactly the same boat! I physically cannot put weight on if I try but people, even close friends, have called me scrawny, twig legs,skinny, boney, anorexic and all sorts. Even "disgustingly skinny". Its such double standards because a person would never say someone was fat and expect them to be fine with it. Its made me feel so self concious! Agree with you about wanting clothes to fit better too. Sorry for a little rant. Great post!x
    lifeandlipsticks.blogspot.co.uk/

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  15. I will admit I am guilty of saying this like I wish I was skinnier, although tend to use words more like slimmer (seems to have better connotations in my eyes). Definitely agree with this post though. I would never go and tell someone they are fat, or too skinny. Disgusting. Jealousy is a very ugly trait!
    http://beautybook13.blogspot.co.uk

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  16. This was a great post and I completely agree with everything you have said! My friend has even asked me before if people ever ask me if I'm anorexic! I think because a lot of people want to be slim, they don't think that skinny can be just as rude as fat xxx

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  17. Omg this is so true. I cant understand why people think they have the right to comment on a persons weight, ever! Another thing that annoys me is people who instantly judge a slim girl as someone who 'never eats' or 'starving themselves' - when its possible to be slim and have a perfectly healthy diet! I could rant for ages on this subject so I'll stop here lol xx

    Maisy xxx

    beautyspendingspreex.blogspot.co.uk

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  18. awwwww i wanna give you the tightest cuddle! i say to just ignore them and act like it doesnt bother you, eventually people will either get over themselves and move on or they'll realise theyre being crappy and hopefully still move on.

    im your newest follower! i love your blog!
    xoXo
    BreezeyBee Blog

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  19. I completely agree with everything you have just written - honestly!! Basically for me I am over weight (I know and I am working incredibly hard to sort this out) and I always have been but I have never been called fat. Why? Because of the reason you have said, people find calling a person fat as horrible and calling someone skinny isn't? It doesn't make sense and I feel horrible even thinking it (like I do if I think anyone is fat) so I really think everyones POV needs to be changed because I know from a few friends that it does hurt and it does change a persons way of thinking about themselves.. :/
    Great post though - alot of truth spoken!! <3
    Lots of love from
    Annabelle
    TheCurleyGirl
    xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

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  20. It is so refreshing to read this!
    I share your pain with the skinny comments, people just need to accept that different people come in different shapes and sizes, the sooner people get this into their heads to better!!

    Great post :)

    XO

    http://the-shelley-diaries.blogspot.co.uk/

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  21. I can relate to this a whole lot - it's upsetting and degrading when it happens, people just assume we live off leaves and fruit. In the same way that people always comment on how short I am, like there's something I can do about it?!! Aggh it is aggrivating! *moral support* ^.^

    flawedfairytle.blogspot.com

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  22. This was wonderfully written and I agree with you entirely. Just because you're smaller, doesn't mean you're happy with every part of your body.

    http://thelittlekoala.blogspot.co.uk

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  23. I completely see where you're coming from and sorry that you were put in a situation that made you uncomfortable/sad. Unfortunately people just tend to associate 'skinny' with 'looking good' now days... think of it like when people say "oh wow, you look so good have you lost weight??"; basically they're saying "you didn't look good before but now that you're skinnier you look amazing". I'm not trying to justify what that person said about you, it was uncalled for and rude, but try to understand that people are ignorant and don't think about what they say as much as they should now days :/
    I've always gotten uncomfortable comments about my body from men and them sexualizing/objectifying it... really, as women, we can't win. Just stay confident and know that that confidence is what makes you beautiful!! :)

    Cassie
    thriftthick.blogspot.com

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  24. I can completely relate to this. I've always been slim, I have a fast metabolism too so no matter what I eat I can't seem to gain weight and people are always like "you're so skinny" and assume I hardly eat even though I have a pretty healthy appetite!
    It's so true about the skinny/fat comments too, no one seems to realize that calling someone skinny can be just as insulting as calling someone fat yet it's acceptable? Drives me crazy!

    Katie x

    itstimetobefearless.blogspot.co.uk

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  25. This post is such a fantastic example to others. We have all been in a situation where people have made comments about our weight, and whether they were intended to hurt us or not, they did! Over the past year I have lost a large amount of weight in order for me to be happier, not for anyone else to be happy, and the amount of comments I have received is lovely, however, I do find it embarrassing when people say things such as "you're wasting away" and "skinny Minnie."' I find these quite humiliating comments, as for me, being confident is all about being comfortable in the skin that you're in. It also really upsets me when people say "I'm on a diet" or "I'm so fat" when it's obvious they aren't. These people are such beautiful people who have said this to me, and I find it that the majority of people who have say these things have been offended with comment in that past. It is awful that comments which people think are compliments hurt others so much. These comments also pass off on the younger generation, a 5 year old asked me if she looked fat in what she was wearing once, I found that she had heard comments off others and didn't want to be categorised. I hope that you are feeling more confident this year, because you are very talented with all of your posts, and on the images that you post on here, you look beautiful! Xx

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  26. I love posts like this. I often write a deep and meaningful post and it feels really nice to get it all out and feel like you might be helping someone else.

    I'm naturally really slim and I've learnt it's just the way my body is, I hate going to the gym and being looked at by these beef cake guys who think they're better for having big muscles. It's quite pathetic really and we all know what they are compensating for! ;)

    Lovely post.

    www.SamuelJamesMorris.com

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  27. Wonderful post from a different view that we dont here from often, great read.

    http://thoughtwithlove.blogspot.co.uk/

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  28. Great post, and love the image too :)
    By the way, I just found your blog through the Monday Blog hop, so you have a new follower :)
    http://beautymadefun.blogspot.com

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  29. This post really made me think.
    I know you might not read this comment but i feel like i should respond anyway.
    At the moment i'm not confident in my body shape or how i look and it honestly upsets me if someone says something about my physique. I don't particularly like my body shape as i'm Slim but have hips that maybe other people don't notice and it really shouldn't be an issue but for some reason it is, it feels like people are picking you apart if they say something about your physical aspects that you can't change and i can never really tell if it's meant in a bad way at all but it's still upsetting.
    I'm quite a confident person in general and i think this is the one thing i cannot stand people talking about with me in a negative way because it just knocks you back.
    I think it's especially difficult for teenagers as our bodies are pretty much changing all the time yet when we were younger everyone was pretty much the same.
    I have so much more i could say about this and i really love this blog post but i'm sure I've rambled enough!

    India xo

    http://velvet-ghost.blogspot.co.uk/

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  30. oh, the whole skinny/fat debate annoys me. i strongly dislike how people are so opposed to people being naturally thin, i think it's totally fine! society has such issues these days. chin up though, you're totally fine just the way you are!

    from helen at thelovecatsinc // youtube

    ps. enter my new giveaway to win the UD naked basics palette, real techniques brushes and essie polishes! click here.

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  31. I love this post, it really highlights current issues that affect a lot of people and you have argued it very well! I 100% agree with you, great post :)

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  32. I am excatly the same. And it annoys me to hell when people comment about my weight. I totaly understand.
    Fantastic post! needs to be said!

    Pipp xx
    http://pippjones281190.blogspot.co.uk

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  33. I totally agree with what youre saying. You always read about people getting bullied about being overweight. getting called fat etc. but there needs to be more said about people getting bullied for being naturally thin. Society needs to realise that this world is made of all different shapes and sizes. <3

    http://shinebrightx18.blogspot.co.uk/

    abbie xx

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  34. Great post, there's such a stigma towards 'skinny' people, its such a shame as you're totally right, the world would look dull if everyone looked the same! I'm so glad to have stumbled across your blog and am following you now :)

    sarah-rosegoes.blogspot.com

    xx

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  35. I went through a time where people thought I was too skinny and would come up to me and ask if I was anorexic and spread really silly rumors about me. It actually made me eat too much and too unhealthily when I was in class/at school, just to prove that I did eat! I finally realized it was okay to be me, and be whatever size my body decided to be. I'm so sorry you had to experience such harassment, even if it was unintentional on the other persons part, its still rude and uncalled for. I hope you can overcome your insecurities, and realize just how beautiful you are! I'm definitely going to follow you so I can check on the progress of your goals (:

    xo

    fashion-impossible.blogspot.com

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  36. I loved this post because I had the same thing happen to me the other day. I don't know if some people think they're trying to be nice in their own mind, but it makes me feel so uncomfortable, especially when everyone hears it and looks at you. Yes, I know I'm tiny, blah blah but don't say things like that. I hate when people will say also, "Oh, you need to eat a cheeseburger, or maybe you're having a bad day because you're not eating enough, I mean look at how skinny you are, where is the rest of you?!" I don't think I have to justify my body or health to anyone (even though I am always eating and enjoy eating :)) I am happy that you posted this because there is someone actually who I can relate to. Love reading your blog as always!

    xo Alexa

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Thank you for reading and commenting. I love reading your comments and will try to reply to everyone's questions. If you have any questions you want to ask me directly, tweet me @beautybelleamie or e-mail me at belle-amiebeauty@hotmail.com ♥

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